


Girl Crush (Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor Imagine)

by double_the_D16



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Band Fic, Bits of swearing, Dancing and Singing, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Feelings, Fluff, Lovely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 17:10:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17564606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/double_the_D16/pseuds/double_the_D16
Summary: You are confused as hell while Roger knows for sure that he’s in love with you. So, he puts that into a song.





	Girl Crush (Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor Imagine)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after listening to ‘Girl Crush’ and broke my own heart. 
> 
> Warnings: angst, bits of fluff, bits of swearing, as a whole, very, very lovely. 
> 
> Additional details:  
> → Based on the song ‘Girl Crush’ cover version by Harry Styles. It’s on Spotify if you wanna listen to it or maybe I’ll put it down there.  
> → Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor, but you can imagine Roger alone or Ben, if you feel like it.
> 
> → Action taking place at present.
> 
> Also posted on Tumblr [here.](https://meddows-theblondebastard.tumblr.com/post/182347970261/girl-crush-ben-hardyroger-taylor-imagine)

* * *

 

„C’mon, he wants you there more than anyone else.” Brian says, in a final attempt to make you move from the couch you are sitting in this moment. You know he’s in a rush and you are only making things worse for him, but he doesn’t give up. „Y/N, look, we have 40 minutes left and if you think about doing something, you should make a decision right about now. Forget about the argument, it’s the most insignificant thing now for you both.” _So many thoughts, so little time._ You thought. Brian looks up at the clock on the wall and you feel the urge to tell him to go. You just don’t want to make him be late or annoy him even more. And he, being the sweet guy he is, never admits the fact that you annoy him.

For maybe the millionth time today, your mind travelled back to a particular person. Blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair and, you should add, _a big_ temper even though he acts like this shy boy every once in a while. And you were mad, but having his image in your head helped a bit through the phase. You are a very bad person and Roger is the last person to deserve to be treated like this. That is why staying in your pajamas in your house to spend the rest of the night was a better idea than going anywhere out . You wouldn’t hurt anyone.

„I still don’t hear you saying a single thing.” The curly one says again, somehow resisting to the impulse of pinching your arm or something like that.

„That is because I don’t feel good. I don’t feel comfortable coming tonight. I’ll ruin your moment, I don’t wanna do that.” You say with your thoughts all a mess inside your head.

„Neither does Roger. I saw him today, he clearly was pissed. But you know what? Yours and his pride shouldn’t be bigger than they way you need each other. Remember that you were there _everytime_.

 _Bloody hell._ He shouldn’t have said that like that.

„Brian.”

„I’m right here.”

„I don’t have a very good feeling about it, but I’ll be back in 12 minutes.” You say and in one second, you’re standing on your own feet. Brian smiles at you, somehow relieved that he didn’t have to spend too much time convincing you or contradict your opinions. You reached your bedroom and put on the most easier to find clothes. It wasn’t a formal thing or something which needed a significant part of care, it was just a little concert in a bar. You combed your wild hair, applied some mascara and lip gloss and you thought you were ready. Phisically, at least. You put your phone in the back pocket of your jeans and then went back to Brian, who was up from the couch, waiting impatiently for you.

„I’m okay.” You assure, but don’t know from where this comes from. You grab your house keys from the coffee table and in a few moments you are in the passenger’s seat in Brian’s car.

 _Roger_. Your mind whispers. While you bite the inside of your cheek, his face appears in front of your eyes. He is so naive. Or, are you naive?

You didn’t have to tell him all those things. It was obvious that he didn’t need any of them, nor was his intention to confuse you. Yet, you are still so confused. Because you have no idea how you should act around him. _He does these things_ … And you don’t know if you’re supposed to accept them or not. He has feelings for you. This is showing on him, it has been for a lot of time now. And somehow, this complicates your situation even more. Roger is a great person. He is a handsome man and an amazing friend, but is this how it should be? His actions towards you have always spoken more for him than his words. How he looks at you when you’re around him, how he tries to make you laugh and how he offers to help you so often you feel almost ungrateful. He’s so nice, it’s almost unbelieveable. You, on the other hand and in comparison, are in doubts and can only create complications with your beliefs.

_„This … I think this is not right. Please, why you keep doing those things for me? I-I can’t make up for it, I don’t think I could feel the same for you, Roger. I don’t know, don’t force me.”_

_„I’m not trying to force you, Y/N, don’t say that. Why is this so hard for you to get? I just want you good, it’s so nice for me to see you smile and all that … But maybe that makes me a damn burden and I can totally understand it.”_

Ugh, remembering this day’s events is awful. And _the argument_. It’s miserable.

 _„Remember that you were there everytime_.” And Brian is right. Not just because he’s more conscious than you, but because it is true. You met Roger and the band he’s in exactly at the bar you are now heading to. It hapenned on a night when you decided to stop studying and stressing over final exams and get out of the house. Your mood was completely shitty, you reckon, and that made you give up for some hours. You entered the bar which was, back then, filled with teenagers who were almost the same age as you, drinking and simply having fun to your disadvantage. You found out that someone’s about to light up the atmosphere with some music only when a group of men became the center of attention. One held a mic, who’s name was _Freddie_ , two of them had guitars, _Brian and John_ and one more, _Roger_ , positioned himself behind a drum set in the back. His messy hair back then was the first thing to catch you attention. When they started singing along with playing their instruments, there was this blast for your ears. They have totally disconnected you from your too full universe. Made you smile while admiring their talent and then cheering with the crowd when they were done. The memory makes you tremble now. It’s been almost two years since. Ever since, you were lucky enough to be present everytime they sang there. You got to know their songs in order and witness the new ones on occasions. They had power, a lot of talent, they were skilled and entertained every single person in the little crowded bar which became, by the way, more and more popular because of them. By having the courage to congratulate them, without even noticing, you became friends. It was an uncertain fact at first, but it became stable on the way. The truth was they were normal people, all in all. Normal people with a passion that brought them together to amaze the others. Music was an important hobby for them, but they have said that it would never be serious enough to make a living out of it.

Oh boy, how wrong they were.

The more people came to watch them playing on different nights and get drunk in addition, the more popular they became. And it just happened for you to be there when a man in uniform offered them the occasion to visit a recording studio. That was it. Everything went smooth, enjoyable and crazy. Absolutely crazy. Their first album followed shortly after that and now they go under the band name _‚Queen’_.  

To get along with Roger was an interesting process. He was the _ladie’s man_ with fast hands and drumsticks. But the thing was that he never looked after any woman in particular. He only looked after … Well, you. It was confusing to understand how and why, but you just assmued that you don’t have to explain everything and believed that, eventually, things will clarify. It was easy to say that Roger didn’t give up on his purpose. He never really lost any opportunity to take you out to dinner, flirt with you and smile in _that_ way he does. Although you tried to avoid getting closer and closer, he’s always managed to pull you closer. He didn’t try anything on you still, never kissed you or tell you clearly what was that he wanted. But it was already obvious and the thought, the aspects of it scared you, if it’s to be honest. _Why?_ Is still your question.

Why letting Roger to have you was so confusing and hard to get?

You wish you had an actual answer to that.

There were a lot of guys around you. There was this one, Anthony, who got under your skin a little, unfortunately for Roger. Not that you wanted to be rude. Only God knows, you cared about Roger too much, he earned that from you, but the way Anthony was seemed to feel right. It seemed to feel like it was appropriate for you, while when you were around your blonde one made you feel your skin burning, your stomach squeezing and your hands sweating. Could you name that?

No. You never did.

 

„You seriously scare me when you are so deep into your thoughts.” Brian’s voice snaps you back to reality when you realize that you are biting your lower lip hard enough to make the blood spill out. Hopefully, that didn’t happen.

„What? We arrived?” You ask.

„Yeah, we’re here. 20 more minutes.”

You got out of the car, facing the bar. The wind blowing freshened your tenseness. Your hands are squeezed into fists, but there’s barely a thing you could do about that. Still, you manage to move, nervous. The inside of the bar is already full and the smell of alcohol and cigarettes gets to your nose quickly. It’s loud in here, mostly because everyone is excited. The boys are back from tour and decided to have a mini-show back at the bar where it all started. Like a _‚hi there again’_ for everyone who watched their performances throughout the years. They were clearly important individuals now.

Brian suggested you to stay near the stage and then he rushed somwhere in the back. No one could call that a backstage because there wasn’t one. It was just a tiny space behind the stage, where they got used to encourage themselves before the show, laugh, have shots and practice a little. You know Roger use to play with his drumsticks there, hitting the air imaginary and throwing them up. Once, one of the drumsticks even hit him in the eye, but he didn’t complain, because he saw that you were secretly looking.

Lovely.

You ordered a glass of something strong for your state of mind and waited patiently. That is all you can do for now. The air is filled with eagerness, people are moving too fast around and there is no trace of your boys. No.

Stay. _Don’t you dare to think of leaving_.

The crowd started to whisper loudly when the lights dimmed and the little stage was all Freddie’s. He appeared, wearing a not so bold of an outfit as you were used to, smiling and waving to everyone. From behind, there came John, Brian and finally, the ladie’s man. He lifted his hands in the air, along with his drumsticks and smiled warmly. You suddenly felt the need to smile as well, seeing him form afar. He has his hair slightly wavy maybe from the humid air and wears black skinny jeans with a plain white, elbows-lenght shirt. This look makes him be even more handsome, with his white teeth and soft, blue eye. You bite your lip unconsciously.

They start playing and it’s pure bliss. The people are absorbed by them, singing along and dancing around like some super happy freaks. Their hands are quickly in the air, yelling from excitement and spilling their drinks on the floor without being bothered. You stand still, in a poor-lighted corner with your empty galss in your hand, wanting so hard to move and dance with the others. These boys are awesome. But you can’t move, just swing a little from left to right because Roger managed to see you at some point. He seemed a bit shocked until trying to hide it. His drumming was intense, hair being a mess, cheeks flushed and wet lips while he was looking in your direction. You tried to grin, liftting your glass in the air and making him smirk for a bit.

 _Yeah, your pride wasn’t bigger than the way you needed each other._ It’s true, for God's sake, but you’re a fool for the record and will never admit this.

Only looking at Roger, a last song was heard and then people started to scream again, loving the atmosphere the boys created. They stood on the stage and took all the noise, all that cheering into their souls, breathing fire and joy. You placed your glass on the the bar’s counter and exited your ‚safe’ place, approaching the stage but still being covered by the crowd.

„Alright, we’re not done just yet.” Freddie says in the mic. He looks at Roger from behind his shoulder and continues. „Our friends right here needs to do something. Come here, buddy.” You watch as Roger steps forward. His breathing is fast, you can see. A moment of silence later, he speaks:

„I’ll apologize in advance if I’ll sound like shit, I’m trying though.” His face is all sweaty and red, but he’s so beautiful. With the mic now in his hands, he looks at Brian who jusy enjoyed him. He nods, everyone becomes quiet and you tense up.

A gentle guitar sound is heard and your hands start shaking. Roger finds you in the crowd and while looking right into your eyes, he says:

„This is for _my girl_.”

 

„ _I got a girl crush …”_

Your heartbeats speed up. Your feet take you right in front of the stage in a desperate attempt to understand what is happening. You know this song. You know this song and it sounds painfully good from his mouth.

 

 _„Hate to admit it but_  
_I got a heart rush_  
_It ain't slowing down_

  
_I got it real bad_  
_Want everything she has_  
_That smile and that midnight laugh_  
_She's giving you now”_

You pity him. It’s so lame and unecessary, but you do. Something inside of you flinches and a knot is forming in your throat.

 

_„I want to taste her lips_

_Yeah, ’cause they taste like you_

_I want to drown myself_

_In a bottle of her perfume”_

Roger is nervous too, you can see that by the way he tightens his grip on the mic. His voice can tremble in any moment, he’s so concentrated as he lays his forehead on the mic head. The lights are all on him, at a decent amount of intensity.

 _„I want her long blonde hair_  
_I want her magic touch_  
_Yeah, 'cause maybe then_  
_You'd want me just as much_  
_And I've got a girl crush_  
_I've got a girl crush”_

You can barely look around to see everyone watching him in awe. It almost makes a tear drop down your cheek, but you shouldn’t do that. They lift their hands up in the air once again, moving them along with the rhythm.

Oh, Roger …

 

 _„I don't get no sleep_  
_I don't get no peace_  
_Thinking about her_  
_Under your bed sheets”_

Anthony. For a strange reason, Anthony comes into your mind. The music reminds you of how you slept with him for the first time. Roger knows nothing about this, and should never find out. But you feel guilty. On that night, Anthony, although he was hugging you from behind in his bed, wasn’t the one you thought about. Roger was.

 

 _„The way that she's whispering_  
_The way that she's pulling you in_  
_Lord knows I've tried_  
_I can't get her off my mind”_

You couldn’t breathe properly. You’re so nervous and you have any idea why. It’s so frustrating and it makes your face red with feelings. There was this day once, when you cut one of your fingers with a knife while trying to cook something alone. You’ve tried to cook before, but only simple recipes. You swore a lot when the knife slipped in your hand and cut a wound in your finger. You couldn’t stand blood, so you rushed to the hospital to get stitches. You called both Anthony and Roger, maybe one of them was willing to take you back home. And guess who came first.

Not Anthony.

 _Roger._ And he was worried as hell. He checked your finger, the bandage and asked if you were okay. His touches on you were gentle, they were sweet and caring and you remember how warm that made you feel.

 

 _„I want to taste her lips_  
_Yeah, 'cause they taste like you_  
_I want to drown myself_  
_In a bottle of her perfume_  
_I want her long blonde hair_  
_I want her magic touch_  
_Yeah, 'cause maybe then_  
_You'd want me just as much”_

It’s so weird, you feel him so vulnerable. You can’t be pissed anymore, there’s no point in that. Everything in you tells you that you need to go up there and hug him. He doesn’t look at you anymore, he’s looking at the crowd. Some of them are crying, some of them are leaning against each other and dance in silence. Brian plays at his guitar with fine touches. Freddie and John are doing the backing vocals, they murmur  together like two birds and you can swear you are in love.  But Roger loves you and he’s trying to get this right for you.

And you feel so bad for it.

_„And I've got a girl crush  
Oh, and I got a girl crush”_

You try to handle when Roger turns to look at you and dries his lips. His eyes glow, and seeing him this way, you try to smile as beautiful and true as you can. He swallows hard before singing the last notes of the song that made you _love_ him so freaking much.

 

 _„_ _I got a girl crush_  
_Hate to admit it but_  
_I got a heart rush_  
_It ain't slowing down”_

When he finishes, a silent moment goes by. He lets out a shaky breath and then, right there, the crowd begins to applaud and call out his name. And you can’t lose this chance. You clap your hands so hard while he gets your sight and smiles so little. You close your eyes and decide it is time to slow down. _All these things for you_. Roger Taylor is ruining you right now, but it’s fine as long as you did that too to him.

Trying to calm down from your weak moment, you wait for the bar to empty in order to catch your breath. The need for fresh air is inevitable. Still, you can hold on for a couple of minutes more. Brian, Freddie, John and Roger aren’t anywhere close so you start wandering around. Suddenly, Brian takes your hand and points you forward, where Roger is staying, unable to see you. He is holding his head down and the image is terrible. You nod to Brian and he smiles back at you, trying to send you some boldness. You walk towards Roger and when you are right behind him, your arms wrap around his warm body. He doesn’t jump taken aback, he doesn’t move. Your head creeps on his shoulder where you see him with both of his hands placed on a glass with a dark-colored liquid in it.

„’Drowning your sorrows in alcohol, huh?” You speak in his ear, his bittersweet scent hitting on your senses.

„It’s just Coke. If it was alcohol, then I would’ve been wasted by now in terms of how I’m feeling.” He doesn’t turn his head at you and you can guess it’s because he’s somewhat ashamed.

„Roger?” You whisper. „Look at me, please.”

He does. His eyes find yours and they’re a bit red. Did he cry?  

„We will stare in each other’s eyes now?” He asked with sarcasm. Still, his voice was weak.

You giggled. Then, your hands cupped his cheeks. What followed was shocking for both of you. Lips to lips, you two kissed. It was lingering, a little needy at first and then slow. Your lips were hot, feelings tangled and fingers numb on his skin. He placed his hands on your wirsts, applying pressure as he kept his lips glued to yours. A light strong taste from his tongue was now in your mouth and you immediately knew he lied earlier.

„Is that whiskey I’ve just felt in your mouth, love?”

„Just a little.” He answered, giving you that smirk which, right now, makes you lose your mind.

„Thank you so much, Roger. So, so much. You were beautiful out there. So, damn sweet.” You know your words could be meaningless compared to what he did tonight for you. But this was all you could do. You feel dizzy even tough you barely drank. You assume it’s because of what happened.

„It wasn’t a big thing. I’m not the romantic type, you know?”

„I know. I need some air, do you want to take a walk with me? We need to talk.” You say, not breaking eye-contact for a single second. He dared to intertwine his fingers with yours and then stand up. You hold his hand carefully while guiding him to the exit. The night is chilly just as it has to be to cool you down, but with Roger by your side, your whole body is burning. Confusion is lost, hopefully forever. 

**Author's Note:**

> New writing! 'Hope you'll like it, I spent a lot of time on it. Comments would be very appreciated and kind. They make me smile and encourage me to continue with my writing. Thank you so much for the attention given to the last two imagines posted, I'm so happy that you liked them!
> 
> •D.•


End file.
